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Apogee

by Ryan Irby

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1.
The Argument 02:50
You walked the frozen path You crossed the ocean black Inconsequential acts As footsteps through the ash Will your eyes be cast away When they come upon the crater where you lay? You climbed the iron cliffs You stared through the abyss Now scattered to the winds As long-forgotten myths Are they all a golden chain? Is the unresolving cadence played in vain?
2.
Ley Line 04:37
Lost in the fields of feeling Locked in the need for meaning Gloom of the humid evening Shimmering wind Makes my head spin Swarm of the voices speaking Chords of the colors bleeding Smoke choking off my breathing Glimmers of peace Through the limbs of the trees Just a stranger in a strange land Raising the binding rafter A maze underneath the chapel Phase of the endless laughter Echoing wide And left far behind Like a stranger in a strange land Alien grey The wandering stray Spend my years waiting to be Seen and set free Lifted and carried away Lines; golden intersection Rise as the new reflection And guide me to my ascension Moth to the flame The way is laid plain.
3.
Rocky Mount 02:20
Bound to the rising Sun I flew On wings of glass and steel With visions, cradled warm and true Asleep behind the wheel Then came the unforgiving ground To pull me from the dream Three seconds of eternal sound That ripped the axle clean Why should I stand on solid earth And safely walk away? Some dim unwanted soul rebirth To waste another day.
4.
Signal Tower 06:23
Lift your painted veil And face the sun Let the wandering be done Pale horizon bound A million miles Sever every binding line Old futility and shame Cast them all away Risen from the ash, a spire Shadow as your path The azimuth, refined Leave these dizzy spells As memories of a dream Drops of ether in the stream Focus sharpen Saturating lens Clarify as you ascend Faceless figures in the fog Watch a moment, and move on Risen from the ash, a spire Shadow, as your path The azimuth refined Signal tower shaking with the waves Radiation in the frame Revelation and escape ... The vein may try to roll and hide But the needle finds its way inside The claret drawn out through the eyes In a life-preserving sacrifice The plasma parted from the cells Like a tortoise pulled out of her shell Cannot survive or hold their shape They bend, and warp, and dissipate
5.
Masque 03:29
It's hard to put into words They seem to spill out at random The symbols all seem absurd, when you're Too dumb to understand them So the show spills on forward, No time to recap Feels like I slept through the first act I wear a face optimized To minimize interaction A carefully improvised Synthetic sterile abstraction But consciousness gleams Through the widening seams The unrelenting stream Now, everybody wants to play along With the joke that we're all desperate to be in on And the madrigal of conversation Calls us to respond and join the chorus line The joyful noise of wasting our time... If I seem under-rehearsed It's never for lack of trying My focus only gets worse Knowing each moment, I'm dying I'll flee through the neon-lit night of my soul Free to fall through the fourth wall; I'm Lost inside the role.
6.
Concord 03:34
Snow-blind eye Sunburned, silent Vista wide Vague horizon Glowing ice A choir of sirens And the chrysalis is keeping us alive The revelation may be waiting to arrive The incantation we recite is Some sad psalm Lips left frozen All is calm In the life we've chosen Days are long And the window's closing The ascetic turns his head away and hums He is weightless, falling always to the sun Beaming, singing, going numb North my star Can't ignore it Come so far Lost in orbit
7.
Apogee 02:10
8.
Distance kept from what we've meant to hide Piecemeal loss of all we pushed aside Find any reason not to look me in the eye Life-forms desiccated and calcified Fossils in the making When out in the fog there's a light And it keeps us turning at night It's a grey filigree filling in The empty vessels underneath our skin Window shade; respectable veneer Bending rays; the body rendered clear Derealization of the ghost that I held near Shallow breaths in the upper atmosphere Quiet suffocation As loud as alarms all in tune Come the fracturing and the flume Of the wasting disease creeping in To leave us hollow underneath our skin
9.
Prism Cell 06:49
Drawn through the eye of the needle and hung from the ceiling Unfocusing sight in the faltering light of the evening Paint to the ends of the windows to leave the edge seamless Intangible images; clarity call me to witness Gone to wander empty rooms And turn the screws I traded my feeling for some foolish fragment of wisdom Buried my embers and read by the light of the prism I'll stand indecisive at the threshold of my mausoleum Or press through the paper-thin walls that divide me from freedom Faces frozen in their frames Begin to wake Turned to glass And golden wire I'd swallow the ashes to recall the fire If mystery leads me Through a rift in the sky And gravity's hands slip from my eyes I'll let the flame fall So the cinder may rise.
10.
(...?) 06:47
So, tale unwound and told And what have we to show? Is it buried in the snow? And gleaning through these tears A pattern sharp and clear I blinked and missed ten years "You always knew How this would go Kept in the loop The limit control To weigh out the soul" Things come back; it's recursive And the curse is eternal Stay on track; it will follow Taste of ash; burnt out hollow Will the circle be unbroken? Are we well enough alone? Fall, through matrices of stars Where shape came to us all As chaos from the dark To which all things return The spiral at the center The cry that goes unheard "No one can see How this will end Found and set free Every line bends As we all ascend" Things grow back; it's resurgent And the spring is eternal Lay your path; it will follow Rising grass of tomorrow 'Will the circle be unbroken?' Do you really want to know? ... Iridescent colors In the pools of oil Carved in bismuth crystals The organizing principle

credits

released May 20, 2023

All songs written and arranged by Ryan Irby. "Rocky Mount" was partially adapted from "China" by Timothy Swan (1801).

Most sounds made by Ryan Irby, with the assistance of

THE WHOLE SICK CREW:

Erika Blatnik: vocals (2, 4, 10)
Keely Burn: vocals (1, 3, 9, 10)
Kailey Conner: vocals (3, 4, 8, 9)
Trev Hicks: saxophone (9, 10)
Veronica Irby: wine glasses (3), vocals and sleigh bells (10)
Alonzo Jefferson: drums (9)
Brian Jones: drums (1, 2, 4, 5, 8, 10)
Matthew Hocker: vocals (3, 5)
Chris Matthews: vocals (5)
Stephen Mills: clarinet (5)
Ali Foley Shenk: vocals (3, 9, 10)
Taryn Spink: hurdy-gurdy (1, 8)
Daniel Stein: pedal steel (1, 2, 9)

Recorded mostly by Ryan Irby at home and various other locations around Richmond and Lynchburg, VA. Certain selections were recorded by Taryn Spink and Matthew Hocker in parts unknown. Mixed and mastered by Jacob Sommerio at English Oak Recording, Richmond, VA.

Cover art by Anna Fox Ryan.

Sincerest gratitude to all those who performed or worked on the album, as well as to Ronald Irby, Angela Shearer, and Katherine Chambers for their lifelong love and goodness; to Matthew Hocker, Aura Leon, and Mary Harper for years of invaluable friendship; to Rich Stine, Doc Thomas, and Maggie Graff for musical connections; and to Veronica and Banjo, for reasons too numerous to list here. This record simply would not exist without all of you.

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Ryan Irby Richmond, Virginia

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